I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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