Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
