What a fucking waste of an outfit
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
