that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
