Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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