there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
