he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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