We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
only if we run a train.
done.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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