I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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