No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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