So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
