and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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