shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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