i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
