i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
whose ass print is on the piano?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty