used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
the raccoons are back...
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