What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
