it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Life is so much better after having sex.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
