i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need water and some morals
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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