just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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