In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
