i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
