Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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