Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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