I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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