I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
