i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
