dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize