Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
