i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
