There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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