it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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