the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
