i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
