youre lurking in front of me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
