Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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