i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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