This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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