You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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