she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
