I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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