i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
