She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
