Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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