I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard my ears popped.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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