Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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