You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
