You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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