the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
