That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
