me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
