I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
