My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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