So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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