he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
