Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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