I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
