Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
