When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
