There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize