is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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