You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
