Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
