so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was like eating out sand paper
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
