i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
