I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
